I am a Bland of Grass

I had every intention of writing about my adventures from last weekend, but new events have taken place that must be discussed. A while ago somebody decided that it would be a good idea to experiment with new methods of learning Italian and that a group of American girls that haven't even taken Italian would be the perfect group to experiment with. Last week we were informed that a few of our regular Italian classes were going to be replaced with "a great opportunity". A famous actor from Rome was going to come and work with us on our Italian speaking skills. I spent the week trying to imagine what this was going to be like, but nothing I am capable of thinking of could have prepared me for what happened today.

Within the first ten minutes of this "lecture" I found myself lying on the floor listening to an Italian actor tell me to close my eyes and feel my birth. "Feel your birth! Now let your hand feel your birth." I was confused to say the least. Feel my birth? As in when I was born? That's the only birth I know and hate to break it to you, but I don't remember what it felt like. Birth is pretty painful...am I supposed to be in pain? I was extremely confused by the whole experience and what the purpose was, but it just got worse. "Now feel a Greek birth." Wait, is a Greek birth different than the rest of the world's? And why am I thinking about this at all? By this point I was laughing a bit uncontrollably, but it was just the beginning. We then stood up ("don't stand up too quickly!"), closed our eyes, and envisioned a bland of grass. I quickly figured out that he was referring to a blade of grass and wondered where we were going with this one. We spent a while creating a detailed image and then we become one with our bland of grass. We then spent the next hour (yes, the whole hour) being a bland of grass. First we just felt the movement of the wind blowing on the bland in our hand, but quickly we began to feel it in our whole body. Just imagine it: twenty girls, Peter, and our Italian teacher in a room with our eyes closed (when you weren't looking around to see if everybody else was swaying back and forth like you) imagining that they were a blade of grass in the wind. We got occasional tips and guidance such as "Change the strength of the wind. Change the direction of the wind. Imagine the color of your bland!" This all went on for an extremely long time and I was prone to burst out in laughter periodically. I spent a lot of time trying to maintain control and actually concentrate on what I was supposed to be doing, but that's usually when it became the funniest. I would just get to the point where I WAS the bland of grass and then I would realize that I was just imagining myself being a blade of grass and I would lose it. It was a vicious cycle.

After we were allowed to open our eyes and come back to reality we were told that this image and color that we created is our color for the letter "i". We then learned how to say it correctly, but I'm not sure i'm capable. I just couldn't get it good enough for him. He always made me say it multiple times and then ended up just walking away with a not so hopeful look on his face. We then spent a few minutes feeling our births again before our break and I finally understood when he told us all to "take a birth together". Birth actually means breath. I almost had to excuse myself as a result of the laughter that followed this realization.

When we came back from our break we became storm clouds and the sea in order to learn our colors for "o" and "a". We tossed balls around to each other saying these vowels. We learned motions we should do with our hands as we said each sound and went around the circle making hand motions and noises at each other. We spent more time being blands of grass and feeling our births just to make sure we still had it down. When he asked me what color my grass was and I told him it was bright green he informed me that I must be young. Was he talking about me or my blade of grass? I guess I won't ever know. I could go on and on about these three hours of my life...they were unlike any experience I've ever had. It kind of felt like a strange version of yoga and i'm just not sure how it's supposed to help me learn Italian. After three hours we learned how to say three vowels. Seems a bit strange to me. It was all very comical though. I honestly couldn't ever stop laughing. It was all made that much better by the fact that the literal translation of this man's name is drink the water. Who does that?


Last week Peter and Leah had some of us over to their house for lunch. It was so nice to be in a house and be completely comfortable with our surroundings. We just sat there for a long time loving having the kids running around and actually being in a home with a family. To make it even better, Leah made us a Mexican meal. It was so great.


I saw the leaning tower last week and I was actually quite bothered. It is definitely leaning, but it is extremely small. I don't know why, but I always envisioned it being really tall. It isn't.


On our way home from Pisa and Luca Elizabeth and I got Happy Meals. It's amazing how good a Happy Meal tastes after a two months in Italy. I'm not about to complain about the food I eat here, but a cheeseburger every once in a while just makes the world complete.